| Weather | sunny, a little bit chilly, felt colder than our actual temperature, windy |
| Temperature | 54F/12C |
| Mood | please stop pain signals to my brain |
| Restoring nature | 1.5 hours |
Pain – what do you do with the messaging from your brain? Your brain keeps tossing it at you. Allen, don’t eat that any more. Allen, lay down. Obey. Allen, just think about your nausea and nothing else. Allen, stop eating bad things. Then there are counter thoughts: Allen, stop being a wimp. Allen, stop being hard on yourself. Allen, just do it anyway. That’s what I am doing right now, trying to write. My brain doesn’t want my narrator to flow, it just wants me to lay down on my left hand side and succumb to nausea. Maybe I will in a bit. But for now let me try writing a little.
Today I wanted to make it to the Strawberry Mansion bridge. It’s a special place for me that reminds me of the New Jersey shore. Our weather looked like a lamb from my window, but the wind was roaring like a lion. I got to the wall on MLK Drive and it was blocking the wind. I looked around at the closed trail that our Philadelphia contractors are working to expand. There was litter all over the place around it. I enjoyed feeling the sun on my back and I think the contractors will enjoy not being surrounded by litter. I got to it. At first there were no thank you’s, but eventually they started pouring in on me as usual. Thank you appreciative public! Somebody called me out and thanked me by name, but I did not remember his name. Drat!
Here comes pain again. Another pain I have cycling through the last couple months is burning mouth syndrome. Yes, it sounds hokey. I hope I’m wrong. I found it on Mayo Clinic, a reputable medical site. I have been trying to figure this out my burnt dry mouth thing with my primary care doctor since the beginning. Luckily it seems to come and go like other cycles of a guy in a chronic waxing and waning gastroparesis rut. I woke up with a charlie horse in my calf this morning, probably my sixth rude awakening the same way this year. C’est la vie.
I have a lot of thoughts but I cannot get my writing narration rhythm today. One guy was completely spooked with me riding on my electric scooter with a blue trash can lid and litter grabber attached to my backpack. He is not alone. He did a triple-take. I sometimes see it as kind of funny sometimes. Other times it just makes me sad like today. Somebody brighter and more enlightened than me once said something like “We do not see things as they are, we seem them as we are.” I have nothing left but pain around my body and frustration in my mind. First, a break, then I will be onto my visual story. I hope you find something in my written or photo works je nais se quoi. Thanks for reading my post today.
