[This first email below is a joke by one of my friends, but many people I was emailing during my adventure did not know it]
I was going to send you a personal email but because of the trouble you have created I felt it necessity to make it public as I am a responsible moral God-fearing law-abiding citizen. For a while I had been deeply offended of all the senseless stuff you have been writing to us. I had been thinking when is it going to stop? And, your last exploitation email was the last the straw.
Through your email I have realized how I despise everything that you stand for, especially your nose. All you really want to is to 'get some'. You know Allen there is more to life than getting some. How about getting Some decency and straighten yourself up? Look what happened me, look how I turned my life around. I don't chase girls, instead I let girls chase me.
Allen, now it is time for you to put your vacation on hold once again to come back US to have this new problem you have created resolved, and you should personally apologize to every person in your email list personally on your knees, then you can go back to where you belong with the Kiwis.
Allen, because of you I can't ever see myself eating kiwis ever again. I am terribly ashamed that once I had you under my wings. Please take my e-mail off your list, I hope others will follow suit. Let's all make a difference!
I question myself whatever happened to our humanity?
Reply 1: True friend...
I don't really know you, but two words for you "GROW UP!". Who are you to say what a straightened up life is? Allen is having some fun out of the country why he is young, what are you jealous? Geez, I know he considers you a friend, but couldn't you have had some respect and held off till he was back to take up your gripe. You are a very immature person, and it sounds like you are easily offended, get over it! A kiss isn't "Getting Some" in case you didn't know that, and for as long as I have known Allen He has been very honest and up front with girls and more than faithful when in relationships. Sorry Paul we can't all have the same low standards you might have and take the first person that shows an interest in you. From the looks of you I know you aren't being chased by too many "Girls".
P.S. Seriously though you need to do some serious thinking about how asinine you sound!
Responses from other friends:
I really enjoyed the last email! I think it's fabulous that you met a girl and enjoyed your time together, even though it was short. You're young, good looking, and a free man to go out and enjoy the wonderful women of the world! Don't let one person's comments keep you from being open and honest in your anecdotes. Keep 'em coming!
Love, Dorthy :)
Please do not ever feel you have to defend yourself or explain yourself. I'm shocked that you're receiving criticism while on your vacation. Anyone who truly knows you and your character knows that you mean no harm. If anyone misunderstands or misinterprets you... quite frankly it is their problem and baggage. Please take their baggage and drop it while your sky diving!
Your dear friend,
P.S. Continue to have a FABULOUS VACATION!
Dante wrote back to Karen’s reply:
Leo’s personal reply to me about Pete’s joking email:
How are you? I am glad you are having a good time over there, and I think you should be able to share anything you like. If he or she is your friend then they know you mean no harm by it, but anyway I don't think you have enough girl stories :) I just had a weekend with three dates, wasn't great two were hefty saying they were "AVG" US Average is "5'4" 145 pounds and the third one was perfect size wise, but I didn't find her at all attractive.
Well I don't know what that person could have possibly said, but I have been reading your e-mails and I don't find anything offensive. But I guess out of a lot of people you know I would probably be the hardest to offend, especially in a story about you living life and having fun. Well I have to go do some errands, we are moving next month, and now I have limited time to get things ready before I am a working guy again! Have fun and tell whoever that was to fuck off and you will talk to him about it after you are done having fun. What a party pooper! ;)
Hey there Wacky Al,
I'm glad Part II of your adventure is even better than you expected it would be!
Keep your email updates coming as is. Katrina was right, your critics don't know you. Even if I didn't know you as well as I do, I don't think you are painting the picture that you are on some gigalo adventure trying to get some with every cute girl you meet. Your story about Ingrid was very sweet. I also thought the story of the missed opportunity with the cashier was very sweet. You weren't presenting it in a way that each girl is just another notch on your belt. So don't worry, most of us don't think bad things about you!
Well my crazy adventurer friend, I wish you the best! Take care.
Final response from Pete:
There have been a lot of support from my last email I sent to you all, but I have noticed that some people didn't quite get it. I apologize for not being quite clear. Please pay attention, forget about having your email off his list. I need everybody's support to have Allen arrested. I will need you all to file charges against Allen for all of us being victims of having to read Allen's silly emails and for his attempt to clog valuable cyberspace.
As a responsible citizen, I have contacted Australian authorities to have him arrested for forcing us to read his long silly emails about 'getting some'. Did you all know, he went down under because he mails about 'getting some'. Did you all know, he went down under because he couldn't get any in America? I have reported that he is a silly wannabe Casanova American who is also known as Wacky Al by some, who yells 'get some' for no good reason. The good news is, Australian authorities have told me that it won't be hard to spot him because there have been already reports of complaints about this one particular silly American yelling 'get some' in cybercafe.
I personally think that we are doing him good for having him arrested and deported back to America, once he is in jail, he will finally stop complaining how much he hates his job because he won't have one any longer, plus his cell mates will keep him good company. Finally, for the relief of all rest of us once in jail he won't be sending his silly emails about his adventures in the can.
- PETE GETSOME
"I have a dream, to live another day without getting Allen's touchy feely emails." -Pete Wu